This marks the exact moment. The moment I realized I’m not happy with a few facets of my being. The moment I decided to shed those insecurities, setbacks, and flaws in order to focus on the positive. I’ve got so much time, but only if I start now.
It’s going to be hard. But I’m tired of the insanity. Nothing will change unless I change.
Total cleanse.
I feel beautiful and inspired.
Dreaming about coffee shops in Florence. I’ll be sipping on a cappuccino, pen quickly moving across my sketchbook’s pages trying to capture movement out the window, faces of the strangers next to me, and reflections of the morning.
I have a lot of hopes for this summer and for myself. I have faith I’ll grow and become a better me.
Just have to…
Get through my French oral exam and then I can run errands and have a productive evening. I need to: stop by the post office, pick up varnish and fabric marker from michaels, try to sell a few used books to Books a Million, buy moving boxes, study for chemistry, vacuum, go to the gym, and try to be in bed by a reasonable hour.
I wish I had the talent of running and knitting at the same time… I could exercise and make scarves simultaneously.
I’m ready.
I’m ready for change, improvement, growing…
Rainy night, soy candle, and reflection.
Tomorrow will be for errands, studies, and research.
I will also write a list of my goals for the summer.
Gym in the morning to start the day off right.
For now, Internet & John Green until I fall asleep.
Tomorrow’s To Do
- Wake up bright and early, shower, get pretty, make coffee
- Meet parents for apartment hunting adventure
- Finish cleaning & organizing bedroom
- Make Etsy tote bag order
- Study, read, etc.
I’m taking it easy and staying in this weekend. I have a lot to get done around the apartment. Plus I’m feeling extra hermity lately.
This evening will be dedicated to chemistry, French, and crafting. Stopping by Michaels after classes to pick up some yarn. Then I will do a bit of my online chem homework, prepare a French study guide, and lastly I will start an infinity scarf and sew a little project. If I’m feeling extra productive I’ll clean a little as well.
I feel really motivated today and the sun just came out.
Thoughts
- Feeling refreshed after a great vacation, but now I have to get back into study mode. Classes tomorrow and I’m pretty positive I have two exams this week. Will be spending a good amount of my time studying and sipping coffee at Atomic or Blackdog cafe.
- About to take a long hot bath then organize and unpack a bit. Must get my bearings together. Excited to go through all my New York purchases and find places for them in my apartment.
- There is something about getting away for a week that causes you to want overhaul your life upon return. I’m ready to make some healthy changes.
- I love the month of March! Birthday is coming up. I’m planning a camping adventure to celebrate.
Day 1
Walked for 7 hours straight today exploring the city. Resting for a bit, then going out for food and drinks with a few of Sara’s friends later tonight. There are so many people and activities and streets and buildings. Its reminding me how big the world is and how insignificant me and my problems are. It’s an exciting and humbling experience.
Also, seeing all the bikes is inspiring me to fix up mine.
Also, went to a textile art gallery/shop that blew me away and made me even more motivated to try out weaving.
- Eat healthy, eat fresh, feel good
- Exercise every day, be active
- Hike, explore, enjoy sunlight & nature
- Sketch, paint, create
- Share, listen, be kind and understanding
- Grow hair, take vitamins, stop dyeing
- Dress well, feel beautiful
- Stay tidy and organized
- Study, go to every class, enjoy learning
- Be more adventurous, say yes
Tomorrow will be a busy day
- Chemistry lab at 11:00
- French at 2:30
- Coffee with Sara to talk about our New York trip at 3:30
- Hopefully pick up finished “paint a pot” pieces from art center
- Clean apartment
- Pack for New York trip
- Prepare letters that need to be shipped (ship them on Friday)
I’ve been staying up ridiculously late lately. Procrastination, numerous homework assignments, studying, and coffee have not been helping my sleep schedule. I must work towards fixing that…
I just got a random burst of cheeriness and I feel deep down that tomorrow is going to be a great day. Not sure why, but I feel like a big change is coming. A change for the better. And you all know how much I like change.
I’ve got so many adventures and plans to look forward to. I’m so sorry for all of the rambles, but I can not contain my happiness. I feel like typing silly posts like this every ten minutes.
So many ideas. So many things I want to do. So many things I want to learn. So many places I want to see. Must write everything down so I do not forget.
Going to try and fall asleep at a reasonable hour so I can wake up early and get a run in before chemistry.
I had a productive evening and I have a feeling tomorrow will be just as good.
Well, Cory is asleep (he has to wake up early for work and then intern at the hospital) and my chem homework due date was postponed to next Sunday, so I shall peruse the internet until I get sleepy!
Excited for tomorrow: lunch date with Cassandra and Amy, thinking about going to a park to sketch, sip coffee, and enjoy nature, then lastly, cooking dinner with Cory and cuddling all night.
I’ll get back to productivity on Sunday. This upcoming week is going to be busy. I have a chemistry exam to study for and so many little things I wish to accomplish. My posting will be minimal.
Relaxed, painting for hours and eating a healthy vegan dinner will do that. Having a few people over throughout the night. They’re going to rummage through my get-rid-of boxes from when I organized my bedroom. Tonight I shall: study for french exam, finish making my etsy order, fill out study abroad forms, and enjoy seeing a few friends.
Back rubs and naked cuddles would be the cherry on top of this perfect day… But have to wait until Thursday for that!
I’ve been reflecting & have come to the conclusion that…
I must remember the following in order to pull myself out of this rut:
- Eat a healthy, gluten free, vegan, and fresh diet. Eating healthy will give me more energy. I need to love my body and treat it right.
- Continuing with the first bullet: Exercise regularly. Go back to working out/doing something active every night. This worked in Indiana. It can work now. I must remember how good the endorphins feel and how good my booty looked.
- Try to stay organized. I’ll make an effort to keep my environment looking inspiring and tidy. An inspired and organized environment equals an inspired and organized mind.
- Sketch and write and paint and sew and craft and read and knit. I’ll do the things I love. I’ll feel proud of myself for accomplishing these little things.
- I will study and work hard, but I won’t stress. I won’t let the stress of schoolwork trump the enjoyment of learning.
- I will practice yoga regularly. I will spend time to lay in silence and meditate.
I’ve been getting sick a lot lately and I think it has to do with my sudden depressive state. I experienced this drastically my freshmen year and I really do not want to let it get out of hand again.
